Alone Again, Reflecting
by Humor In A Bittersweet Life
Summary: Gibbs sits and reflects. He calls his team ... their assignment ... drinks at Eddie's Bar.Chapter Six: It all comes together for the team as they're called in on a case. Remember ** Chapter 5 is rated -M- all others -T- Zony/ McAbby and others.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own anything or any character of NCIS!**

**___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

_CHAPTER ONE_

**Alone Again … Reflecting **

Leroy Jethro Gibbs sat alone at his desk … reflecting. For some reason, he thought about Kate … the thought of her stung his heart. He never realized or thought to realize what affect his team had on him. Had it been a year? Or was it two since her death … God … _four_?Jen's … months … not quite a year. Time flies when you're having … well … not fun … life … and death. NCIS was about life and death … too much death. He looks over at DiNozzo's desk, then at Ziva's … he smiles when he looks at McGee's … brilliant yet jumpy … gullible … the butt of DiNozz's jokes. His thoughts then drift down to Abby. Another smile appears on his face … his wonderful goth Abby. Ducky … ah … Dr. Mallard … his head drifts back and he relaxes … he could hear one of Ducky's stories in his head … "You know my Dear Jethro … in ancient times …" How could he not smile? He was broken from his reverie by the janitor … someone had to clean … right? _What's his name … Joe, no … Jack … no … damn! Ken … yeah Ken … does he have kids … a wife … yes … Ken, two boys and a little girl … got it. _Gibbs stands up.

"Good evening Ken … how's the wife?"

Ken is taken aback … Gibbs usually ignores him …he didn't even think he knew his name. Nervously he replies to Special Agent Gibbs inquiry.

"Fine Sir … thank you."

"I'm not a Sir Ken, I work for a living. So, how are the boys and that beautiful daughter of yours?"

Ken shakes his head … is he dreaming? He thinks he's dreaming.

"They're wonderful Si … ah … Special Agent Gibbs … thanks for asking."

Gibbs smiles and walks to the elevator … he pushes the button for Abby's lab. He walks around her lab … looking, touching, prodding, smiling … he grabs his cell phone and calls her.

"_Leroy Jethro Gibbs, on my caller ID … what do you have for me Gibbs?"_

His smile comes through on the phone. Abby can feel it.

"Drinks at Eddie's … can you call McGee … I'll call DiNozzo and Ziva."

Her concern comes through on the phone. He can hear it.

"_Gibbs … what's wrong?"_

"Nothing Abbs … is it wrong that I want to buy my team a round of drinks for a job well done?"

"_Okay … if that's all that it is … you're sure?"_

He's grinning now … "I'm sure Abbs … I'll call Ducky too … okay? One hour? Eddie's."

"_One hour Gibbs and Gibbs …"_

"Yeah Abbs?"

"_Get out of my lab."_

He can hear her laugh as she disengages the phone. _How does she do that?_

As he heads back up to his desk … he makes his phone calls … his team … _surprised_ … but on board … one hour at Eddie's.

Back at his desk and back to reflecting, his mind goes back to Kate and Jen. Jen the woman that he loved and Kate the woman that he could have loved. After all this time, he could admit that … too little and way too late … his anger began to grow. His hatred for Ari would never die … not with Ari's death or his own … he would take it to his own grave. He thought of Lt. Colonel Mann … was he truly happy with her … were they happy with each other … would he and Kate have been happy together?

He was sick of reflecting … he was sick of being alone again … he needed that drink … more importantly … he needed to be with his team … his friends … he came to that realization while he was reflecting.

On the way to Eddie's, DiNozzo was doing some reflecting of his own … about Jeanne and the lie that he told.

Was the moon in a reflecting phase? Drinks at Eddie's should be interesting … Ducky had a story or two about loves lost that he wanted to share … seems he had been doing some reflecting of his own before he received the call from Gibbs.

**___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**_TBC. Drinks ... too many and the truth comes out. Thanks for reading!_**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: still the same ... nothing has changed.**

**___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

_CHAPTER TWO_

**Confessions of a Drunk**

"… was any of it real"

"No."

DiNozzo, on his way to Eddie's, thought about the word … no. In his youth … not so long ago … he hated the word … no. When Jeanne had asked him if any of it was real, he simply replied … "No." He wanted a drink or five, maybe eight, nine … eleven. Jenny … Director Shepard, was gone … he wished he had said … no, to her. He loved Jeanne Benoit and it was all Jenny's fault. Did he like the Director … no. Did he respect the Director … no. Was she his boss and did he have to follow orders … yes. Damn her to hell. Gibbs would kill him if he could hear his thoughts … did he care … no … not really.

Ducky was lamenting his own lost love … not on his way to Eddie's, after all, he was driving his Morgan … his only _true_ love. Dr. Mallard had been sifting through some old photographs when he came across a picture of Annabella … a direct descendant from The House of Stuart … King James the VI, born at Edinburgh Castle, 19 June, 1566. It was during World War II, Scotland, he was ten and Annabella was … I'll save it for the bar.

Ziva had nothing to lament … no loss love but she was reflecting this night … she too thought about Kate. She wished she had known the woman that her brother had so prematurely taken from this earth. Maybe she could have prevented it … stopped it … changed his mind … his heart … his hate. Maybe not … that type of hate runs deep within a man's soul.

On to McGee … just happy to be off the probie list.

Abby was getting dressed and thinking about Gibbs … something was off … really off. It worried her. The last thing on her mind was lost loves, hate, or the King of Winsor … ah Stuart … Scotland … whatever.

A spontaneous combustion of the NCIS crew converged at the exact same time … much like it was a crime scene, on Eddie's Bar and Bar … no grill … you're there to drink and if you can stand, shoot a game or two of pool. They chose a booth in the back … by the pool table and fortunately it was a quiet night … until they got there. DiNozzo was in a noticeably irritated mood. Undoubtedly because of his reflections on Jeanne and Jenny. Gibbs was once again agitated … thinking about Ari. Ziva, guilty, for having such a brother. Ducky … missing his youth. Abby, now picking up on everyone's mood … big time nervous and McGee … blissfully oblivious … for now.

Gibbs ordered a round of drinks. You could almost tell by what they all ordered the type of mood each member of the team was in. Bourbon for Gibbs, of course. DiNozzo … Jack …NO coke. Ziva … Tequila. Ducky, Sherry. Abby, Hawaiian Punch with Seven up. Then there was McGee … a Lemon Drop Martini … even the waitress did a double take and said, "Pardon me?" when he placed his order. Abby knew for sure that Tony was in a bad way when he didn't make a comment. Now she didn't know who to be more worried about. She changed her order …

"Excuse me waitress … I'll have what he's having … straight up." She pointed at Gibbs.

"Abbs … do you remember what happened the last time you drank Bourbon … you ruined my boat."

"Well Gibbs, your boat's not here … is it?"

He put his hands up in defeat.

"So Jethro … why call this meeting of the drink?"

"I thought we could all use it after this last case Ducky … it's always hard losing a young Sailor but his entire family … it was a bad one Duck."

"I heard that it was love at first bite."

"First sight Ziva."

"It wasn't over dinner?"

"NO! _**Ziva**_ … it was when they first laid eyes on each other."

DiNozzo was irritated … not at Ziva but the lack of an alcoholic beverage in front of him.

"Where the hell's that drink!"

"Tony … chill."

"Sorry Abbs … I'm thirsty."

Gibbs was close enough to smack him upside the head but thought better of it. Tony hung his head … his eyes were clouded, his demeanor was out of character … he wasn't the life of the party.

Their drinks arrive and Tony was ready for another before the last drink … the Lemon Drop Martini … was placed down on the table. He held up his glass and the waitress got the hint.

"Just bring the bottle Honey." She didn't appreciate the honey remark … if she only knew the real charmer that he usually was. It could have been, 'sweet cheeks' or 'luscious lips' or the ever popular … "hey babe bring me the bottle and your number." The fact that he wasn't the same old Tony didn't go unnoticed by his friends and colleagues.

McGee takes a sip of his Martini and slides it towards Tony.

"I know you think it's a girly drink but it packs a wallop."

"No thanks Probie … I'll wait for my Jack … it _really_ packs a wallop!"

"Hey DiNozzo … cut the Probie crap."

"Come on Boss … Mike still calls you Probie."

Gibbs once again raises his hands in defeat.

The bottle arrives with a thump in front of Tony.

"Thanks sweet cheeks." … Told ya.

Gibbs smacked him that time.

"Tony … her name is Annabella."

"What did you say, Abigail?"

"She has a name tag Ducky … Annabella."

He whispers … "It was 1943 she was eight, I was ten …"

They all put their drinks down and listen … truly listen. He went on … surprised by the attentiveness to his musings but happy just the same as he was usually cut off.

"She was a direct descendant to The House of Stuart … Royals of Scotland you know. She had beautiful blonde hair that she always wore in a bun. She was my first kiss … on the cheek of course."

In unison … "Of course."

"I had a first love … her name was Dr. Jeanne Benoit."

They all turned and looked at Tony … the bottle of Jack Daniels was just about at it's end … as was Tony.

"I did more than kiss her. If it wasn't for Madam Director … _God rest her soul _… I never would have met her." He downed the last drop with emphasis.

Gibbs knew that he was pissed … there had been many times when he and Jenny hadn't seen eye to eye on a case but she was dead … gone … it was time to let go of the past. The problem for DiNozzo was … Jeanne could have been his future … could have been the mother to his children. He didn't want Jeanne to be a part of his past … Jenny caused that … the Jack just made that realization worse.

He lifted his empty glass. "To Madam Director."

They all raised their glasses … Gibbs hesitantly.

"May you rest in peace knowing you ruined my fucking life!"

Mouths dropped open and Gibbs sighed deeply … his friend was hurting … he couldn't and wouldn't begrudge him that.

Ziva dropped her head to the table. Abby rested her head on Tim's shoulder. Ducky shook his head and drank his Sherry …

Tony staggered out of the bar … Gibbs followed.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Thanks for reading! Be back soon ... if you'd like?**


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter is a little angsty but we never get to see their emotional side so I thought I would give it a shot. Let me know what you think. Thanks.**

**___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

_CHAPTER THREE: THEY PUT THEIR OWN BOLO OUT ON TONY_

**A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else. **--unknown

When Tony staggered out of the bar … he had no destination … just away. He didn't want his friends and that's what they were, to see his vulnerable side … that ship had sailed. He left them stunned … not all of them … Gibbs knew. He followed him … he'd been down a similar road a time or two before but never allowed himself to fall so deeply in love with his mark. Gibbs knew love and love stinks on a good day, it was a bad day when getting your mark to fall in love with you and it backfires on you.

Gibbs found Tony sitting on a bench … slouching like a common drunk, just outside of Eddie's … he couldn't walk any further than that. Gibbs sat beside him. Tony gave him a sideward's glance and they sat in silence for several minutes.

"Why did you say no? Why didn't you just tell her the truth?"

"I don't know Boss, I chickened out. She was so angry and she accused me of killing her father. Too much water under that bridge." His head was spinning, he could barely stay sitting, Gibbs smirked and propped him back up.

"What about Jenny? You could have said no to her … you could have come to me."

"Not according to Madam Director." He takes on a very cynical tone.

"You're happy that she's dead. I'm not asking."

Tony sobers up a bit, he straightens up on the bench.

"She told us to take the day off! That wasn't my fault!"

"I'm not saying that DiNozzo. What I'm saying is … she caused you a lot of pain and now she's gone … it's a Karma thing."

"Look Gibbs … there were many times that I didn't agree with her but I never wished her dead, in fact, I wish she were here right now so I could tell her exactly how I feel about her."

"Yeah me too Tony."

"How's that Boss?"

"That she was wrong about you. She thought that you were an unfeeling womanizer, that she infuriated me … she should have come to me with this and that I loved her."

"You don't think I'm an unfeeling womanizer, Boss?"

"Take it from the real deal … I can see through the lies you tell yourself Tony … keep it up and you'll be a lonely old man just like me."

Tony slumped down again, Gibbs knew for now, their talk was over. Tony needed to think and he was … about Jeanne. Gibbs went back inside and told Tony to come back in … Tony nodded but stayed on the bench. Gibbs had some thinking of his own to do … three wives … many notches on his belt … he _was _an unfeeling womanizer. He didn't want Tony to become the man that he had become … he turned around and went back outside but he was gone … and so wasn't his car.

**_Damn it DiNozzo!_**

The only thing left to do was put a BOLO out on Tony. If he was stopped for a DUI, it could mean the end to his career at NCIS, Vance wouldn't tolerate it and once he found out Gibbs was behind this little outing, he wouldn't have been able to help Tony out either. He went back inside and paid the bill.

"McGee, Abbs … I want you two to head to Tony's apartment and see if he's there. Ziva, hit the streets and try to find him … call his cell, he's not answering for me. Ducky … you're with me."

"Gibbs … what's going on?"

"He drove off … I don't want him picked up on a DUI … let's find him … Fast!"

"Got it Boss!"

They all scatter to find their friend … he was hurting … so were they. When one of the team goes down … they all go … that's how they stand as a team. You know the old saying … "There's no I in team" … they really mean it!

McGee and Abby make it to Tony's place and breath a sigh of relief when they see his car parked outside his apartment building. Abby calls Gibbs and tells him that they're going up. Ziva's , hearing the news … heads that way.

"He's not answering, McGee … what should we do?"

"He's probably passed out on his bed … we should go."

"No, no way … I want to check on him … make sure he's alright."

Tim sighs and reaches into his pocket. _Tony's gonna kill me for this_. He pulls out a lock pick set that Kate had given him. Abby was intrigued. He went to work on the lock and the door sprang open.

"Wow … I did it!"

"I'm impressed McGee!"

Proudly … "Kate gave me this. _He held up the lock pick set_. She taught me how to use it." Abby rubbed his shoulder … understanding the underlying current of emotions for both of them. He smiled and nodded his head as they entered Tony's apartment.

Abby's cell phone rang … it was Gibbs.

"Yeah Gibbs."

"How's Tony?"

"Haven't seen him yet … McGee had to pick the lock we just got in."

"Did you say … McGee picked the lock?"

She couldn't see him of course but she knew his eyebrow was raised.

"Yup! Kate taught him … first time he ever used it!"

_Kate._

They started searching his apartment … his gun and badge were laid out on his coffee table. His car keys close buy. The door to his bed room was slightly ajar … McGee was hesitant but he pushed the door open knowing that Tony would be pissed has hell and tell him … no … yell at him to get out. There was no Tony.

"Abbs … he's not here!"

Abby had been looking around not wanting to enter his bedroom with McGee … a man's privacy and all … when she started hacking his computer … that privacy she was used to invading. She thought all she would find was porn.

"Tim … come look at this."

He sat down next to her and couldn't believe his eyes. Tony had been stalking Jeanne Benoit … for a very long time. He had photos … private photos, public photos … he had hired someone to follow her every move. They looked at each other and both sighed a heavy sigh of concern.

"He was in love with her Abbs."

"No Tim … he's in love with her. Where could he be?"

Tim draped his arm around Abby, she rested her head on his shoulder … just then, Ziva, Gibbs and Ducky arrived … Abby and Tim didn't move.

"Where is he?"

Abby shrugs but doesn't move … she's scared and doesn't want to leave the comfort of Tim's embrace.

"McGee?"

"It's bad Boss … take a look." He moves only slightly to turn the laptop towards Gibbs.

The three of them look at what Tim and Abby have found. Ziva sits heavily on a chair and crosses her arms in a protective manner over her chest. Gibbs scratches his head in thought and Ducky heads for the door.

"What are we waiting for Jethro … let's go find him."

"Where Ducky … where should we look!" Jethro yells at Ducky … he doesn't mean too … but even he gets scared … sometimes.

He yells back. "I don't know Jethro but I don't want to find him on my table!"

McGee, Ziva and Abby all look up at the two men … McGee stands nervously, ready to confront Gibbs because he does consider Tony to be a friend.

"He's right Boss … I'm going back to the office and run a trace on his cell … Ziva … hit the streets and Abbs … you're with me. Gibbs, you and Ducky work it out."

Gibbs looked at McGee with fire in his eyes … he walks over to him as McGee stands his ground … McGee puts his head up high … waiting for the aftermath of what he had just done … nose to nose now …

"McGEE!"

"Yeah Boss." Shakily

He did that head tic thing with the grin. "I'm proud of you." Then he smacked him in the back of the head. As he turned to walk out of the door with a smiling Ducky, he turned back and said … "but don't think that you can get away with giving me an order like that ever again, McGee."

"Understood Boss."

McGee and Abby did their thing at the lab … tracing the GPS coordinates of Tony's cell phone. He never turned it off which made their job that much easier. Ziva went to every bar within walking distance of Tony's apartment complex and Jethro and Ducky drove around in the Morgan talking and looking.

"I'm sorry Ducky."

"What did you just say Jethro?"

"I won't say it again Duck."

"I never knew you to be a weak man Jethro."

"You're the only one that I would apologize too … feel privileged."

"Ah … but I do my Dear Jethro … I feel very privileged to have you as a friend. Only friends can get away with speaking to each other in such a manner."

"I'm scared Duck … Tony's not weak, he's not scared … he's not me God damn it!"

"I think you're confusing you with somebody else as well my Dear friend. I would never describe you as weak or scared … you're one of the bravest men that I have ever known and if you haven't noticed Jethro … I've been around the block a few times."

"No Ducky … I don't mean physically … and as far as being afraid of things … like a bullet or death … things like that … they don't scare me … women … they scare me!"

"After three wives … any man would be."

"No story for me Duck?"

Ducky glances to his left … he is driving his Morgan. He's thinking about an appropriate account of his youth … or someone else's.

"In the late 1600's, young Janet, the eldest daughter of Sir James. Was betrothed to David, son Sir David of Baldoon , however, she was in love with Archibald … he was penniless … her parents had no use for a penniless son-in-law."

"Duck … what does this have to do with anything?"

"My point being My Dear Jethro is … we do not live in archaic times. You can choose who to love … you can choose to say no and that's okay … when we find Tony … he needs to hear you say that!"

"It won't make the hurt go away Duck."

"No but the next time and there will be a next time … for both of you … maybe just maybe you'll find the courage to love again. Shannon would want you to be happy."

Gibbs had been staring at his hands but at the mention of his wife's name … his head shot up … Ducky was ready and waiting for that … he gave him a knowing look. This whole night was a trickle down effect … now they had to find Tony.

Gibbs' cell phone rang, it was McGee …

"Yeah McGee."

"We think we found him Boss!"

**___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**Thanks for reading ... reviews are appreciated :) Judy.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: If this chapter is bad ... I don't claim it ... My dog ate the orginal draft! I have no claim to NCIS or it's Characters!**

**on to **_CHAPTER FOUR: SOME ZONY ..._

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**You taught me how to love; you taught me how to live; you taught me how to laugh; you taught me how to cry, but when you left, you forgot to teach me how to forget you.**

**-By Hendie**

Shannon, the one woman that Gibbs would have stayed with forever. Was Jeanne, DiNozzo's Shannon? He hoped not, he hoped that Tony had another shot at his Shannon. Immediately, he hoped he would find him … in one piece.

"Give me his location McGee."

"Oak Hill Cemetery, Boss."

Gibbs sighs _… Jenny _… he's visiting Jenny.

"He's in a bad way Jethro … I suppose he's gone to have a talk with the old girl."

"How the hell did he get out there?"

"I would think our Tony took a cab."

As Ducky drove, Gibbs thoughts went back to Shannon. Why did Ducky have to bring her into this anyway? He turns his head to the left and remembers a time wrestling with Kelly on the couch and Shannon laughing in the kitchen making popcorn for their evening movie … something they did every Sunday night as a family … _a family_. He really wanted another drink. He really wanted to learn how to forget … forget what it was like to love, to live … to breath with Shannon and Kelly. That was an impossible task that he was going to have to learn to live without. He would have to continue you to live and breath … love was an entirely different story.

He was broken out of his reverie by the sudden stop of the Morgan.

"We're here, Jethro." Ducky thought that he had fallen asleep.

The gates were locked so they had to get out an walk. They grabbed their gear just in case. Pulling out their flash lights, they headed for Jenny's grave. They could hear the ranting and ravings of a mad man … excuse me, a pissed off drunk man.

"I have a heart you know! She was a beautiful woman … inside and out … she wasn't just another piece of ass. I could have married her … had babies with her … Thanksgivings … Christmases … I would have treated her like a Queen. You couldn't get to La Grenouille some other way? You had to use me … us? I came to you … you knew I was falling in love with her. I ruined her life … you made me hurt the woman I love … you hurt me!"

Tony collapsed to the misty ground … he was sobbing … Tony doesn't sob. Gibbs wasn't sure if he should approach him, he didn't want to embarrass him but then again … he needed him. It was a double edge sword. Ducky pushes Gibbs in Tony's direction. Still hesitant, Gibbs starts to walk towards him when Ziva shows up. She whispers to Ducky …

"What is happening?"

"The poor boy is having words with Director."

Ziva's heart is broken for Tony. She taps on Gibbs shoulder and he defers to her as she walks by him and wraps her arms around Tony. He sinks into her embrace and she begins to sob along with him. Ducky and Gibbs turn away giving them some privacy.

"I think he needs her more than he needs me right now Duck."

"Maybe so Jethro but don't turn your back on him for too long … he does need you … he needs to know that everything will be alright … eventually."

"Will it Duck?"

They turn to see Ziva running her hands through his hair and wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Yes Jethro … even for you."

Ziva coaxes Tony up and into her car. Gibbs decides to have a few words with Jenny himself … Ducky waits for him by the gate.

"Jen, when we were in Paris … it's not that I lied to you … I can't talk about Shannon and Kelly … it hurts too much. It hurt then, it hurts now. I know I wasn't part of your ten year plan but back then you were part of mine … I did love you, I just couldn't share that part of my life. Would it have mattered? Would you have fit me in to those ten years … would me being there cost you your career goals? Was I in your way? Did you use it as an excuse? You know, I think you did use it as an excuse … I think you were the one without the heart … that's why you died alone Jen … I'll see to it that Tony doesn't."

Gibbs turned away from her grave and walked towards the gate where Ducky was waiting for him … he wondered if it was too late for him.

"Where to Jethro?"

"Lets call it a night Duck. Ziva can take care of Tony for now … we'll pick up the pieces in the morning."

Ziva brought Tony to her apartment … she didn't want any reminders of Jeanne Benoit around … no chance of that at her place. Throughout his secret dalliances with Jeanne, Ziva was a tad bit jealous … all her jabs at him about women was just her defense against her real feelings about him. Now she had him right where she wanted him … alone and in her apartment. Abby knew about her feelings … Zeva called her from the bathroom.

"Abby … he's with me … I think he wants me but he's drunk and on the replay."

"Rebound, Zeva … rebound."

"What should I do?"

"He's drunk and in love with someone else Ziva … for your own heart's sake … make him sleep it off."

"Yes, of course I know that you are right Abby … I'll make him sleep it off."

_Yeah, right!_

Ziva returns to her living room to find Tony passed out on her couch. She sighs and heads to her bedroom. _Ooh, that Jeanne Benoit, what a stupid stupid girl … couldn't she see through his lie … couldn't she see the love in his eyes? Stupid, stupid girl._

She walks back out to her kitchen to get a glass of water. She feels Tony's arms wrap around her waist and his lips on her neck.

_What's a girl to do? He's on the replay … I don't want to be alone again …_

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**_Any thoughts ... anyone? Thanks for reading ... Judy :)_**


	5. Chapter 5

**_****WARNING**** THIS CHAPTER IS RATED M -- PROCEED WITH CAUTION! Some people call it Tiva, I call it Zony!_**

**_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

_CHAPTER FIVE: SAVED BY THE BELL_

**On the Replay**

_What's a girl to do?_

Ziva was torn between her feelings for Tony and protecting her heart. Her heart had been broken … or slightly injured before but never by a man she worked with. She would have to see him everyday and she knew that he loved another … she had to stop him.

"Tony."

"Hmm, God Ziva … you smell so good."

He turns her to face him. Somehow he seems sober and in control of his emotions … he moves the hair out her eyes … he knows how that makes her smile.

"Tony please … we shouldn't."

"Why? Give me one good reason."

He doesn't let her speak, he covers her mouth with his and she loves it, she wants it … she wants him hard on the floor in her kitchen. They start ripping at each others clothes … he presses her up against the wall in her kitchen. She can feel his erection ready and waiting … she's so turned on she no longer cares about her heart, Jeanne Benoit or the look that Tony will give her when he realizes what a big mistake that he has made. She lets her hands travel down and rubs his member over his clothes. He stops her and guides her hands to undue his zipper. She takes the hint and man handles him … he now has _his_ back pressed up against the wall and Ziva is dropping to her knees. Tony looks to the sky and lets Ziva do her thing. She takes him full into her mouth and alternates licking and sucking with a few little nips in between. Tony's hands find her hair and press her mouth deeper into him. His moans only turn her on more. She picks up the pace and she can feel his cock get harder … she knows that he's just about to cum … so she stops. He laughs.

"Oh you little Mossad tease. I'm gonna fuck your brains out right here on your kitchen floor."

He pushes her back and in one fluid movement removes her pants and enters her hard and fast. She groans loud and arches into him.

"Oh Tony … I love you … please love me back."

"I do love you Jeanne."

It was awful to be called another woman's name at anytime but more so in this position … the thing is, Ziva wanted him … she wanted this … she let this happen. The world came crashing down around her … despite the fact that he called her Jeanne … the sex was mind-blowing … he said it would be … in a not so eloquent way. When she came, she screamed out his name.

"Oh Tony … Tony … please baby more … more Tony."

"God Ziva … your killing me."

She smiles into his shoulder … _he called me Ziva … he called me Ziva!_

The next morning, he woke up first, Ziva was draped across his body … he had to move her hair to see the clock … it was 0600 hours … still early. He dropped his head back down on the pillow. Ziva shifted and looked up at him.

"Good morning."

"Morning."

"Are you okay?"

"Headache."

"Are you bent over?"

He smiles and fixes Ziva's hair … he kisses her.

"_Hung _over and yes, I am. Are you okay … about last night?"

She's not sure if she sees regret in his eyes if she sees the reflection of the replay girl in his eyes. She knows that the replay girl doesn't stand a chance of capturing a man's love. She gets out of bed … he watches her … she gets dressed without answering him. She heads back out to the kitchen to make some coffee. Tony sits up and rolls his eyes … he looks down at his cock … _damn it little DiNozzo … can't you behave? _He gets out of bed and puts his boxers on, he heads to the kitchen … he cares deeply for Ziva … he never wanted to hurt her.

She was staring out her kitchen window lost in thought … he once again wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck. He moved his mouth to her ear and whispered …

"What would I ever do without you Ziva?"

Just then, Ziva's cell phone rang. She saw Gibbs name on the caller ID.

"Officer David."

"_Ziva … we have a body … are you and Tony still together?"_

"Yeah Boss."

"_Grab your gear …"_

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**_I know some people were pro T/Z others didn't want to see Z get hurt ... trust me ... more to come! Thanks for reading! Judy:)_**


	6. Chapter 6

**Wow -- thank you so much for all of the alerts on this story! I hope this last chapter doesn't disappoint ... if it does or you think it's missing something, please feel free to let me know! I aim to please :)**

**I'm not going to press the complete button until I know you're all satisfied with the ending.**

**___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

_Chapter Six: Life is too short!_

**The Truth Comes Out**

Ziva drove to the crime scene with Tony in the passenger seat … they were both in their own world. Ziva kept hearing, "I do love you Jeanne," over and over in her head. It made her mad and quiet. Tony was thinking long and hard about what he had done … he had fallen in love with Ziva some time after Jeanne but Jeanne had recently made contact with Tony … nobody knew this … this is what sent Tony into this tail spin. Tony was torn … he truly did love Ziva.

**Crime scene: Apartment of Britt Holliwell Girlfriend of Petty Officer Kyle Davis**

"McGee, once Ziva and DiNozzo get here, bag and tag. For now … I want pictures of the outside where the broken window is … outside first."

"Yeah Boss."

Gibbs examines the scene but is getting very frustrated that his team has not arrived yet. Ducky and Palmer arrive to examine the body of nineteen year old Britt Holliwell.

"Time of death Ducky?"

"I barely just got out of the van Jethro!"

"I don't have all day Duck!"

"Did you have your morning coffee Gibbs?"

"No!"

McGee approaches Ducky and whispers in his ear … "He dropped it."

"Oh my."

Ziva and Tony finally arrive and Gibbs immediately jumps down their throats.

"Nice of the two of you to join us … did you enjoy your breakfast?"

"No breakfast Boss … traffic."

"Crime scene … go!"

Tony looks to Ziva. "I don't think he had his coffee."

She brushes right past Tony and proceeds to the body. They work side by side but the frigid air starts to get to Tony.

"Ziva … _he whispers …_ please talk to me."

Through clenched teeth, she whispers back … "You called me Jeanne."

He didn't know what to say … he knew that a crime scene with the body of a beautiful nineteen year girl's life cut short, laid out at his feet, was not the place to discuss their situation.

She went outside to see what McGee was up to. She saw a quizzical look on his face.

"McGee, did you find something?"

"Yeah … look at the way the window is broken … see here … the shards of glass … it's wrong … it's staged."

Gibbs comes to investigate … he wants to know what's taking McGee so long.

"And here … _he snaps a few pictures … different angles _… material? Maybe ripped from the killer's clothing? And here, _more pictures … _blood?"

"Good work McGee."

They both look up to see Gibbs standing over them.

"Boss … I think the killer was already in the house and knew to stage the break-in but did it wrong … from the inside … not out."

"Bag and tag … get it to Abby."

He goes back inside to see if Ducky has a time of death yet … before he can ask …

"I believe Ms. Holliwell met her fate while we were out drinking and talking about ours."

Irritated … "Time Duck?"

"Between nine pm and midnight."

"Does anybody know where Petty Officer Davis is?"

Tony approaches Gibbs with his note pad open.

"He missed his shift yesterday … no one has seen him since early Friday morning."

"No one thought to call that in?"

"His CO was investigating it internally."

"DiNozzo, you and Ziva get on that."

_Good … we can be alone and I can explain … I'll make it up to her. _

They get in the car to head to the base that Petty Officer Kyle Davis is stationed at … he tries to explain.

"Zive … I haven't told anybody this but Jeanne called me the other day … she wants to see me."

"Good … I hope the two of you will be very happy together."

"No … it's not like that."

"You love her … you made that clear to me last night."

"I had been drinking … I love _you_ … I'm sick of pretending. Remember, I said that in the elevator … during the Domino case?"

"Yes … I remember but she's wants you back and you loved her Tony."

Ziva begins to cry … she knew she should have stopped him when he said Jeanne's name but her heart and head were not on the same page … she wanted him and she let him take her.

He reaches over to move her hair behind her ear … she stops him.

"Please Ziva … I do love you … I'll prove it to you."

"We have a job to do Tony … let's just do it."

Tony and Ziva finish up at the base. Ducky and Palmer are still working on the autopsy. Abby has all her babies up and running with the evidence given to her and McGee is going through the Petty Officer's phone records. The case is moving along … slowly … but moving.

Gibbs is watching the interaction or lack there of between Tony and Ziva … he can only guess what that's about. He was hoping that he didn't make a mistake allowing Ziva to take Tony home the night before.

Tony's phone rang … they were hoping it was a lead on the where abouts of their Petty Officer.

"Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo."

"_Tony … It's Jeanne … I'm here can I come up?"_

Tony looks around the room … somehow, everyone knew who was on the other end of the line by his expression. Ziva stormed off … or tried. He grabbed her arm as she passed by his desk.

"No Jeanne … I'm sorry … Ziva needs me."

Gibbs tipped his head … now he knew … something happened between the two Partners … It was a Jethro and Jenny thing all over again. He knew he should take them aside and try to put an end to it but then again … maybe this would end better for them.

Gibbs picked up his phone and called Hollis Mann … It had been awhile … maybe he shouldn't have let her get away. Maybe she wouldn't even answer the phone … he had to try.

McGee was taking everything in … he remembered how nice it was to have Abby curled up against him at Tony's apartment. He got up and went to the elevator … he would stop for a Caf-Pow first.

Sometimes seeing a life cut short makes you realize that your's is wasting away and there's no time like the present. The NCIS team was all realizing that at the same time.

Ducky came up to see Jethro … Tony and Ziva had returned from their quick dalliance in the stairwell … they were packing up to head out for the night.

"Jethro, I had a thought … a quote actually that has been on my mind … this young girl has made me think of it …

…_**And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. **_

Do you know who said that Jethro?"

Tony answers.

"_**~Abraham Lincoln."**_

"Ah … very good Tony. We should all heed his words."

"Yes we should Duck."

Gibbs cell phone went off … he could see Hollis Mann's number on the caller ID … she was returning his call. Gibbs smiled, grabbed his coffee and headed for the door. Tony and Ziva linked arms and did the same. Ducky looked around and placed his own phone call. Annabella McPhee was in town … his first kiss.

McGee and Abby were long gone and McGee was very much over his fear of "sleeping" in a coffin.

The only member of the team destined to be alone again this night, was Palmer ... he was still a little "gun shy" after Michelle. He was still reflecting on that.

Jeanne Benoit … well, she was a "stupid, stupid girl." ~ Ziva David

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Yes/No/Maybe? I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Thanks for reading ... Judy**


End file.
